Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
