i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
