you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize