when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
