I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I love having hate sex.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
