all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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