he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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