My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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