Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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