I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
