do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
