Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
