hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
