Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
