So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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