is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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