I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
