Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
