Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
