I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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