hotel room ftw
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
