why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
