Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize