this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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