weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
