I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
