also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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