the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my shit smells like andre
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Randomize
