Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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