Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize