So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
