just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
