Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
