I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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