You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
