All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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