my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
