I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
