I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
