If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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