We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
