Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm at about main and main street
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
