Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
