Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
