does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
