Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
