is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
