Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
