make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize