do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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