You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
