People in love make me want to vomit
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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