I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
