My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
