So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
