you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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