I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize