he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My Sexting was not on an AP level
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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