You really coming over, don't trick.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
