stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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