Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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